As I reflect on the recent NHN women network conference held in Doha with the theme, “From Pain to Purpose,” I cannot but reminisce on my own journey of pain to purpose.
In January 2004 when my daughter, Grace was born with very severe disabilities, I was devastated and in so much pain because of her condition. The doctors’ prediction of the future for her did not help the situation, it was heart-breaking! On several occasions, I cried to God asking for a miraculous healing and intervention in her life. The 24th of May 2005 was another of such times when I had come before God to cry out my heart to Him, but on this occasion, I wasn’t praying for Grace but for myself. I had given up everything to become a full-time caregiver for her and I felt incapacitated, so I was asking God, “Is this all there is to my life? What is my life’s purpose? What would my own contribution to the world be?” I really cried that day but heard nothing from God. Two days later, while I was praying, I heard a voice speak to my heart, “Why don’t you make your pain some else’s gain?” I knew this was the voice of God, and He was showing me how to move from my pain to purpose!
My first assignment in this journey of pain to purpose was an instruction from God to document in a book my experience with Grace and how I had received comfort. I was very reluctant to do this as it meant putting my ‘business’ out there and making myself vulnerable, but eventually I yielded and my first book, “He Gave Me Comfort” was published. I have written other books after that, all with the intention of helping people benefit (gain) from my pain. It was also in obedience to this call that my ministry, “My Pain Your Gain Ministries” came into being many years later.
Now that I was writing and speaking, I thought that was all there was to this assignment until I experienced another pain that shook me to my core in August 2019. My daughter, Grace, whom I have given up so much to care for, and invested so much in, suddenly dies. Even though the pain was unbearable, I remembered that this was another opportunity to move from the pain to purpose. Having experienced firsthand, the challenges faced by families of children living with disabilities, I wondered how those of them living in Africa cope, as many of them cannot even afford basic equipment like a wheelchair to move the children around. They have to manually lift and carry these children to move them from one point to another. Even with the equipment and other amenities that my family were privileged to have in taking care of Grace, I know how challenging it could be caring for a child living with disabilities. To help ease their pain, I started the Grace Miracle Ehigocho Foundation where we support children living with disabilities in Africa with wheelchairs and other aids. My experience of loss also made me to start grief coaching where I help others cope with unbearable loss.
The joy and fulfilment I have in turning my pain into purpose is unquantifiable and beyond description. What is that pain that have caused you to cry your eyes out and bury your head in shame? I guarantee that there is purpose in it, and you can use your experience to help people going through similar situations. There are many people waiting to find healing in your wounds. Look beyond the pain and find the purpose in it!
God bless you!
