Have you ever lost someone or something extremely precious to you? Maybe this is someone whom you have invested so much time, energy, money, prayers, and in fact your life in! To say it is painful may be an understatement, right? Yes, I know that feeling!
On the 5th of August 2019, I woke up and noticed that my daughter, Grace had a chest congestion which made her breathing extremely fast. This was not unusual as she has been prone to chest infections in the past. I decided to take her to the Emergency unit in Royal Berkshire Hospital, thinking that she would probably just be nebulised and given some anti-biotics. However, when it was time for the nurse to check her vital signs, the machine did not seem to be picking up any signals. “This machine can sometimes be temperamental,” the nurse said as she banged it in her attempt to make it work. After more trials, she called in another nurse, who seemed more experienced, and after examining my daughter she seemed alarmed. Grace was then taken to another examination area, and some doctors were called in to attend to her but after a few minutes, she stopped breathing. All attempts to resuscitate her failed, my daughter gave up right before me. I thought I was dreaming! How can someone who wasn’t sick the night before suddenly pass the next day? This was a question I had no answer to, and I found myself struck down with grief.
Grief is a natural response to loss. It is that intense sorrow and anguish that we experience after the death of a loved one. We feel pain when we lose precious things, how much more when we lose people who we love deeply. It will be absurd not to grieve. Grieving is therapeutic and it helps us to heal. However, excessive and prolonged grieving is not healthy for you neither is it the will the God for you.
In 1 Samuel 16:1 (English Standard Version), The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.” This passage reveals the mind of God concerning prolonged grief. Samuel was caught up in prolonged grief over Saul whom God had rejected as king over Israel because of his consistent disobedience to God’s instructions. It is one thing to grieve over a dead person, but it is worst to grieve over a living person, but that will be a topic of discussion for another day. But the main message here is, “How long will you grieve?”
There is a time and a place for everything in life but when anything becomes excessive, it usually becomes detrimental, and this is the case with grief. While it is okay to grieve the loss of a loved one to honour their memory and express your feelings and emotions, it is not okay to get stuck in grief. Just like the book of Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time and a season for every activity under the heavens, I want to remind you that there is a time to be born and a time to die. There is a time to grieve and a time to heal, and I believe that now is your time to heal.
If you are feeling stuck in grief and not able to move forward, I invite you to watch this month’s videos on my YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@EyumEjiga) where I will be focusing on helping you move forward from grief.
May the Lord comfort you on every side and give you the grace to move on.
Shalom!
